It's just one of those days. Where I just want to disappear. To get away from everything. Because I hate my life here.
Everyone keeps asking me if i'm okay.. what do they want me to say?
no.. I'm not okay. so I just smile and say i'm fine: )
I'm the girl. The one thats always lost. The girl who seems to be SO strong but daily continues to break. That girl whos always there and seems to have NO problems of her own. The one who holds back tears. She finally lets go of her fake smile and the tears slowly roll down her face as she whispers in the mirror I dont wanna be me
Force a smile, blink away the tears. I'm supposed to be strong. Supposed to have no fears but I'm finding it hard not to frown. I'm such a strong person why am I breaking down.
I know it seems like I'm this strong person who can get through anything, but inside I'm fragile. I've had so many things thrown at me, and each one has only made a crack. What I'm afraid of is shattering.
It hurts to feel that no one is there for you, and that nobdoy cares wondering what your purpose is or why your even there.
Sometimes I just feel like Running away.... just to see who would follow.... just to see who really cares or if anyone cares at all.....
I'm going to smile and make you think I'm happy. I'm going to laugh. So you don't see me cry and even if it kills me..
I'mgoing to smile.
I don't know what to do anymore, nothing feels the same, I never see a smile in the mirror, I only see pain, pain beneath my soul, so deep inside of me there is no escaping it, Trying to come back to a normal state of mind, there's nothing I can do anymore. You wonder how is it feels to walk a mile inside my shoes...
The girl who seemed unbreakable is finally starting to break. The one who seemed so strong its crumbling apart. The one who always laughs it off is constantly crying. The girl who would never give up, finally quit trying.
DEAR REPUTATION,
I'm sorry I have to tell you this. I'm breaking up with you. I'm sick of people talking shit about me it's all because of you. I'm starting over. I don't wanna be that girl they talk about. I don't want to be known for them anymore. I miss the old me; when girls weren't so damn cruel.... when a smile came easily to my face. I'm tired of you ruining my life.
I'm sick of you. So here's my goodbye to you, reputation. I'll miss you forever
If I could just wash away the pain, all the memories and the shame I would scrub until there was no more stain, and watch the dirty water go down the drain
So I say thank you for the scars. And the guilt and the pain. Every tear I've never cried has sealed my fate.....
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